If you want to engage in a casual hookup, you may think that it’s pretty simple; you know, just meeting up and having sex.
Well, there are some rules you need to know in order to keep the relationship fun and so that no one has a misunderstanding. You’d think that both parties just want sex and that there aren’t any mixups, but it happens quite often.
We’re only human.
You’d think that you just meet up and go to town, but you can do that if you want your relationship to burn out quickly.
By communication, I don’t mean having long discussions about life, but rather letting each other know what you want from the hookup.
If you’re only in town for a month, let them know. Leaving without telling them your plans will make them feel like you weren’t satisfied or didn’t like them.
You don’t want to give them that impression, as they could then feel down in the dumps and unsure of themselves. That’s not fair.
If you can only hookup every now and again, let them know as well. If you don’t hit them up very often they may think you’re not interested anymore or they might even move on to someone else.
#2: Do your best. Even if you’re not going to ever see the person again, make the sex amazing.
Even if you’re not going to ever see the person again, make the sex amazing.
That’s what you’re both in it for, right? Well, you’d be doing the other person a disservice by not giving it your best shot.
Listen for what they like and don’t like, and help them have a great time. If you do, you can both look back on the experience with a positive perspective.
No one likes remembering bad experiences, so don’t make this one of them, even if the relationship seems meaningless.
#3: Don’t hang out with each other if you’re not going to have sex.
People can get mixed up for various reasons, even if it seems like they know what they’ve gotten themselves into.
But if you hang out with them if you’re not going to sleep together, they may think you want something more.
If you’ve established a relationship based on sex, keep it that way. No one should get confused by such a simple setup.
#4: If you go out together in public, keep it simple and short. If you go out for drinks first, that’s fine as long as you keep the feeling casual.
If you go out for drinks first, that’s fine as long as you keep the feeling casual.
You don’t want to make it seem like a date, which would then alienate them and they’d then feel like you’re trying to pull a move on them, which isn’t something they want.
It can be easy to give someone the wrong message if you’re just hooking up with them, as it’s in a weird spot between friends and lovers.
So if you go out in public together, make sure they know it’s just casual and a prelude of sorts to what’s ahead.
Keep it fun as well, which will only make the sex better since you enjoy being with each other and get along.
#5: Don’t extend the relationship.
There’s always going to be a time in any relationship where you go separate ways or change the relationship entirely.
If you’re hooking up with someone, don’t keep meeting up for an extended period of time. I’d say that the longest you should have a friend with benefits is three months, and that’s stretching it.
If you keep having sex over a long period of time, you could start to catch feelings or you could grow tired of each other.
The best way to end a hookup relationship is to go separate ways when it’s at its best. This way you’ll be able to look back on it fondly and not with a cringe.
If you carry it on too long, it could morph into a quasi-relationship where neither of you are sure on what’s going on.
If you’re hooking up with someone it is key to be on the same page all the time, which will help keep the sex good and you’ll be able to part ways and still be friendly with each other.
It’d be pretty awkward if you ended things and it didn’t go well, only to see them in public later on. Separate in a positive light and you can both laugh about it in the future.
If you follow these rules you’re bound to have a great experience where you can learn more about yourself and how to interact sexually with others, making you a better spouse or significant other later on.
Check out this video on the 5 Rules for having a friend with benefits or casual hookups
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